The ICT Job Hunter Blog

A few days ago, I wrote about the frustrations of graduates and their parents and I’ve been giving this subject a lot of thought since – probably because what happens after school or university can be such a tricky dilemma from both sides!  In my next few posts, therefore, I am going to look a bit further into some of the situations and feelings that families can come up against when a youngster can’t find work, hasn’t got a clue what he or she wants to do or chooses something that the parents don’t approve of – because there are always two sides to any story…

Being a teenager is a tough old game.  No sooner have we decided that we’ve grown out of playing with dolls and toy trains than we’ve got people asking us what we want to do with the rest of our lives!  With little experience of the world, we’re suddenly expected to just know how we want to earn a living and all too often we are given little or no career guidance to help us find a clear path.

Those with ability often have the expectation that they will go on to university hanging over them from an early age, and many simply pack their bags and trundle off to study subjects that they may or may not enjoy (but which they are usually good at), simply because they expect that having a degree will provide them with better opportunities in the future.  In some cases, they are not at all sure how their chosen subject will fit in with any future plans or decisions or why they’re ‘wasting’ so many years of their lives, but they do their best to get good results nevertheless, albeit that they feel rather lost in terms of direction.

For these people, the ones who weren’t fortunate enough to be born with some burning ambition (which probably accounts for most people), graduation can be an intensely frustrating time.  There they are, left holding their ‘Golden Ticket’ (their degree), but they don’t know where that ticket will allow them entry, or even where it is that they want to go!

At the same time, Mom and Dad are anxious to see them in some kind of useful and gainful employment and are probably getting on their kid’s case to get out there and find something.  Often the graduate is more than keen to comply, but simply doesn’t know where to start.  Tempers get frayed, harsh words are spoken and often the demoralized graduate just takes whatever comes along and then finds him or herself stuck in a line of work that not only fails to make them happy, but at which they never really excel.  Then they’re accused of wasting the education that their parents sacrificed themselves to afford and decried for not doing better!  They simply can’t win! 

Don’t get me wrong.  I’m not blaming anybody here and this is not a one-sided situation, but having said that I’m sure it’s one that many of us have seen arise, many times. 

In my experience, kids WANT direction and in many cases they are intensely, albeit secretly, jealous of those who have found their calling in life – they just need a bit of help.   

Another thing about youngsters is that they’re no different than everybody else in that they love to have an interest shown in them.  Sit any kid of any age down and talk to them genuinely about what’s happening in their lives and they’ll not only adore you but they’ll actively seek your advice!  Turn it into a nagging session and they’re likely to do precisely the opposite of what you want, and probably of what they want for themselves. 

I guess what I’m saying here is that making huge life decisions when you’ve only just set foot out of university and are still relatively new to the ways of the world is tough, and support, patience and a bit of understanding are what is really needed.  If you are a parent, try to remember what it was like for you when you left school or college.  Was everything really that cut and dried?  Were you really so sure of yourself?  Wouldn’t you have appreciated a sympathetic ear?   

Just so that this little series doesn’t appear totally one-sided, tomorrow I’ll take a look from the parents’ perspective and then following that I’ll consider those thorny issues like choosing a job that the parents don’t approve of or what to do when your parents’ job search advice is totally out of date and driving you up the wall.