The ICT Job Hunter Blog

Of course, when we hear the saying ‘Nice guys finish last’, the context is usually a romantic one which speaks of the perception that men who are supportive, kind, non-confrontational and who put the needs of others before their own, never get the girl.  In terms of matters of the heart, there are probably as many people who would argue for the truth in this as there are those who would argue against it.  But what about in the workplace?  Does being nice at work doom you to a career spent in the shadows?

CareerBuilder.com carried out a study of the careers of more than 1,500 people over a 20 year period in a bid to answer this question.  Their findings are that being ‘nurturing, sympathetic and supportive’ impedes management potential, that being ‘agreeable’ impacts negatively on salary, occupational status, involvement in work and whether individuals stand out as leaders, but that being ‘affable’ tends to lead to less counterproductive behavior.  They did, however, conclude that becoming a ‘mean guy’ isn’t the answer either.

Actually, it seems that there is probably just as much controversy about whether good guys finish last at work as there is in terms of romance.  While some believe that being nice is essential for building productive working relationships, others think that it impedes career progress and gets in the way of good leadership or management.

To confuse matters even more, some claim that being ‘nice’ is bad but being ‘likeable’ is good, so, at the risk of getting into semantics, let’s just look at what ‘nice’ really means.  According to my old friend the Oxford English Dictionary, ‘nice’ in relation to people means ‘pleasant in manner, good-natured, kind’, as opposed to ‘likeable’ which is defined as ‘pleasant, friendly, easy to like’ and ‘affable’ which refers to a person who is ‘friendly, good-natured and easy to talk to.’  Not much help there – trying to find any real and discernible difference between the three just feels like splitting hairs. 

Perhaps though, the real difference about being ‘nice’ is that connotation which suggests being a pushover.  Maybe when we think of a ‘nice guy’ we think of the person who gets dumped on and who doesn’t stand up for him or herself; someone who either doesn’t voice their opinion or whose opinion isn’t heard.  Perhaps being ‘nice’ is okay, but it’s being ‘too nice’ that’s the problem. 

I’m going to come back to this subject over the course of my next couple of posts to look at whether there really is such a thing as being ‘too nice’ and, if so, why it affects some people more than others and how it can impact on behavior, performance and the perceptions of others in the workplace, as well as how not being ‘nice’ or ‘likeable’ can impact on your professional reputation.