Networking…easy isn’t it? It’s just talking to people, after all. Actually, like everything in life, there is a right way to approach networking…and a wrong way. Done well, it should allow you to build and maintain ‘real’ and lasting relationships which are mutually beneficial. Done badly, it could make you a networking pariah and damage your professional brand. With this in mind, here are some of the top networking DON’Ts to be aware of.
1. DON’T enter into any networking situation with a view to what you can get out of it. Networking is about mutual benefit and the only way to approach it is by thinking first about you can give, not what you can take.
2. DON’T act desperate. If others can feel your desperation, not only will it make you look unprofessional, but it is likely to make them feel pressurized and inclined to run in the opposite direction.
3. DON’T be unprepared. Make sure that you are clear in your mind what you hope to gain from any networking event or meeting that you attend. If the event that you are attending has produced a list of attendees in advance, then check it out and plan who you would like to speak to. This will save you time drifting aimlessly from one person to the next and ensure the most productive use of your time.
4. DON’T go ANYWHERE without your business cards and your resume – you can bet that the very time you need them will be the time that you don’t have them to hand
5. DON’T waste your name tag. If you are provided with a blank label to serve as a name tag at an event, don’t just write your name and don’t write too small or illegibly. Name tags which include your company name, your tagline and even your website address can be a great conversation starter, so be sure to use them creatively.
6. DON’T introduce yourself in a way which sends a potential networker to sleep. An opener such as ‘I’m in insurance’ will lose him from the start. Again, be creative and find a more intriguing way to start a conversation.
7. DON’T interrupt and don’t just barge into a group and take over the conversation – ease in gently and start with more casual conversation before launching into business.
8. DON’T use jargon. If you are talking to someone who does not work for the same industry as you, you might just as well try to explain Einstein’s theory of relativity as tell them your job title or launch into technical jargon. You don’t have to treat people like idiots, but you do have to remember that job titles mean different things in different industries and vary across companies, and that while they might not have a clue what a proxy server is, you probably don’t know what toxic tort is either. The only thing that jargon achieves is the alienation of your audience – it’s a surefire way to have them ‘yawning in the aisles’.
9. DON’T show off or brag. Not only will it make you appear unlikeable, but your audience might just consider that if you are as great as you say you are, why would you need their help?
10. DON’T ask anybody for anything on your first meeting. Asking too soon, especially if you have made no effort to give, will only make you appear greedy and the relationship one-sided. The aim is to build a real relationship and this requires that a rapport be established and a sense of trust established.
11. DON’T monopolize one person’s time. Nobody will appreciate you hogging his or her time all night when there are others that they wish to talk to. Restrict yourself to around 5-8 minutes’ conversation, politely excuse yourself and move on.
12. DON’T make your networking about quantity…but quality. Handing out hundreds of business cards to people that you don’t even bother to take the time to get to know will achieve nothing except a bad reputation.
13. DON’T pry into other people’s business. Keep your conversations professional and respect other people’s boundaries and privacy.
14. DON’T limit yourself in terms of who you talk to. People know people who know people, so don’t just write somebody off without talking to them first – you could be missing a huge opportunity.
15. DON’T promise what you can’t deliver. Real relationships are built on trust and making promises that you cannot keep will do nothing to inspire confidence.
16. DON’T not follow up. Failing to follow up with network contacts is the single greatest cause of ‘network failure’, and in any case it is a bit like ringing the bell and running away. It leaves your contact feeling frustrated and as though you have wasted his time. In addition, if you don’t follow up straight away, you could be forgotten by the next morning. Send an e-mail to any new contacts straight away to say how nice it was to meet them, and then keep in touch by sending them useful information or calling to find out how their job search is going. Apart from anything else, an early e-mail gets round the possibility that your business card may easily have gone astray.
17. DON’T forget to thank everyone who offers you any help, advice, support, information or anything else. If you fail to express your appreciation, your fellow networkers simply will not bother again in the future, and anyway, not to do so is just downright rude.
18. DON’T get discouraged. Real relationships take time to build and if you put in and maintain your effort, and approach networking from a ‘giving’ perspective, it will pay off.
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